PIPPY

Three chapters

1. 

   Tadpole

   Small, round and brand new. One tab open, no plan. The first snack was a very good snack. Life was simple: swim, look at things, nap. Nobody had sent a DM yet. There were no dreads and no hoodie, just a tadpole with a very short to-do list: snack, nap, repeat. The pond was calm and the notifications were off.

2. 

   Frog

   The legs arrived, and so did the tabs: five, twelve, thirty. Plans were made, mostly about a blanket and snacks. The dreads grew in, one slow week at a time. The first scam DMs showed up too, all caps and very urgent. Pippy took one look, said nope and kept hopping. The sofa became home base, and the cat soon noticed.

3. 

   Hoodie frog

   Black hoodie, always. The dreads stayed. Forty-seven tabs are open and none of them will be closed. Scam DMs still fall from the sky, so Pippy learned to switch lanes. The duck says nothing and Pippy understands every word of it. There is no grand plan, and Pippy is fine with that. The hood goes up, the day goes on. This is the current chapter.

House rules

1. Admins never DM first.
2. Your seed phrase stays yours. Not even Pippy gets it.
3. If it says claim or verify, it is a trap.
4. Snacks before roadmap.
5. The dreads stay.
6. Do not close the tabs. Pippy may need them.
7. Nobody here is telling you to buy.
8. When the cat takes the sofa, let it.

Cast and running bits

47 tabs

Pippy's counting system. Nobody has closed one yet.

The duck

Says nothing. Pippy hears it anyway.

The cat

Takes the sofa. Pippy allows it.

Scam DMs

The villains. They arrive shouting URGENT! and leave with nothing.

Snacks

Come before the roadmap, the plans and most answers.

Coffee

Morning fuel. In the game it slows time.

All 25 Pippy facts

• Pippy counts tabs the way other people count sheep.
• Pippy's most honest sticker says: 5 more min.
• The dreads are orange. They arrived in the frog chapter and never left.
• Pippy can hear the duck. Nobody else can.
• Pippy's to-do list has one item. It rhymes with nap.
• Pippy never replies to a scam DM. Pippy just switches lanes.
• Scam DMs always shout URGENT! Pippy has never once been in a hurry.
• In Pippy's world a black hoodie stops rain, wind and unsolicited DMs.
• In Pippy's world coffee slows time, which is why mornings feel so long.
• Pippy says gm at any hour. Coffee decides, not the clock.
• The seed phrase rule has no exceptions. Not even for Pippy.
• If Pippy ever DMs you first, it is not Pippy.
• Pippy has no support account. The only desk is the one Pippy naps on.
• Pippy and the cat have an agreement about the sofa. Neither has read it.
• Pippy went for a walk to clear its head and came back with a 48th tab.
• Pippy has strong opinions about snacks and a very firm policy on DMs.
• Tadpole, frog, hoodie frog. Same Pippy, more layers.
• Pippy's favorite lane is whichever one has no DM in it.
• Pippy has a waltz for scam DMs. Nobody who sends one is invited.
• Pippy gives every sticker a headpat before it leaves.
• Stickers on your cat? Fine. Pretending to be the team? Pippy draws the line there.
• The Pack has a sticker called touch grass. Pippy has not used it.
• Pippy keeps the hood up indoors. Habit, not fashion.
• Frogs do not close tabs. They hop to the next one.
• The first thing Pippy learned to say was gm. The second was nope.